Sunday, April 1, 2012
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Normal ordinary saturday late afternoon was no more sleeping in the afternoon and dreaming or planning the evening. We were shaken to the present moment by shouts of “Uncle!”, “Uncle” to learn from her friend that Vrinda (my 8 year old) has injured herself in the swing and bleeding profusely. Minutes later we were driving her to Apollo hospital to take care of a deep cut on the upper lip and I knew sutures were inevitable. Surprisingly me and wife maintained stoic and kept my daughter as much calm too, while we drove!
We had Vrinda’s class friend’s father (Mr. Srinivas- Oncologist surgeon) waiting for us at Apollo. He was at the end of his day’s work (read weekend) and stayed around longer for us. It din’t take long for him to suggest that she need to get suture’s done. It meant general anesthesia, it meant a visit to the operation theatre, it meant some tricky time with a small kid. Thankfully, a known doctor’s presence saw us through the rigmarole rather rapidly.
Yet there were ordinary humans like us whose kids, parents, spouses must have been waiting for the folks to come home at the fag end of the day-rather week! And we had streched everyone’s time yesterday evening! Add 5 hours of some serious forced present moment living (and probably some delving in the past when I mentally ran through so so many gratefulness ) when all that became important was to see all this went through smoothly.
I saw the universe’s perfection in everything. I saw how the whole scene played out and I saw how I could stay calm all along because I trusted this perfection and knew that everything will fall in place like the jig-saw puzzle. I saw how the universe arranged for all kinds of help as was needed. Yet, I saw all this was part of the everyday melee of life, and one should therefore take life as it comes.
While waiting at the lounge for her turn at the OT and thereafter I realized the fragility of life. I was shaken to the present moment! I was grateful for being alive. I was grateful to the thousands, maybe millions of people around me. I was grateful that Vrinda’s friend’s father chose to stay another 5 hours at then end of his weekend (he was about to go home), and so many others, nurses, caretakers, anesthesist, helpers, billing people, security, everyone who kept the show running so that someone somewhere need them, they were always there.
I also realized that why do we plan so much we couldn’t even keep the promise of making pav-bhaji in the evening that we did only a few hours before.
We sure need to value life ! I’m wonderful and thankful to be alive the way I’m . … and you can easily substitute “I” with “we” – but to mean it requires little practice & conviction.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Mentally ran through all that I had to say.
Thanked Him that I was alive
While I brought together both hand's five
And bowed to the mighty Universe
A routine, I don't need to rehearse.
I sat down for Yoga exercise,
And my sister's phone then rang precise
While I talked to her, I saw three friends,
Walking up to the tennis courts.
Mentally figured, I can team up for a quick doubles
Dressed & just the racquet I was at the nets.
And in the last game, as I received the serve
I lost my nerve,
Missed the ball,
Had a great fall,
I was in pain, but not in disdain,
Rolled the wrists and was up again.
Later, I drove to the airport hotel,
Injured hand reminding me of pain so subtle.
But as I reached back to office,
I realized plain optimism won't suffice
My hand needed medical attention,
I needed a car with automatic transmission
As my left hand won't easily grip the gear.
But I drove bravely & carefully without fear.
To home of course,
And without any remorse
Reminding at all times of the higher good,
Fully in the present moment I stood.
My wife was ready to take me to the doctor,
Missing her office was a small factor
Moments like this reminds of your spouses,
And your heart felt gratefulness,
To their total commitment and care.
We waited dourly four an hour.
The moment of truth wasn't far away,
As I was through with the X-Ray
The wrist hit hard as a matter of fact
The boat shaped bone (scaphoid) took the impact.
Yes, I had the fractured wrist
Got plastered without any twist.
And I am staying that way
For six weeks, without naysay.
Now as I type with one hand,
I haven't for a second,
Complained for my state,
Or cursed my fate,
I'm focussing on my inside,
To understand this change of tide
While friends, family worry,
I'm on a journey of self discovery
Monday, September 12, 2011
My life's peace it steals,
And I'm banged to reality,
Yes, I am not made for this worldly frivolity!
I dont want to get hurt by this world so meaner,
I need something deeper,
So, that I can be with my seat of eternal joy,
And not waste my time with this flesh-form toy
I was just born to touch people's lives,
No not make them my emotional bee-hives.
I want them to rise above the multitudes,
And myself not seek for their gratitudes.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
a thin hope,
a even thinner hope,
getting dimmer and dimmer!
Yet trying to not let it die,
that some day, someday,
u will see a reason,
u will see the anil u see
isn't what u ve made a monster of him,
maybe u will,
maybe it will never happen
still, it gives me reason,
to forget and be myself again.
for i know, in my world,
i ve ever not hurt you,
i ve not hurt even in my thoughts,
let alone in person..
maybe..that's my destiny
thats my karma ..
It's always due,
To remember on this day,
Formally, called the International Women's Day!
And say nice things,
Or remind you of so many nothings,
In that each step you took,
When world around you shook.
The craving girl child,
Fighting the society so wild,
Wanting to find your freedom,
Fly with wings of your wisdom.
To be different from the multitude,
Even when you were left in solitude
Two of my sister's chose a path,
Never bothering what will be the aftermath!
And proved the world around them wrong,
And came out strong.
Happy Women's Day, Manisha & Anu
I love you, and we love you!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
It is here and it is there!
I know its your deepest desire,
Conspired by the universe
That in due course manifests,
And in the meantime incubates
Through the wonder of your thoughts,
Your life and your actions!
I have seen it in my life,
A pattern even in the strife
How the universe supported me,
IIT or my quest to photography
Logical reasoning ruled it out,
Suddenly some event without doubt,
Puts your life back on the rails
And you are again ON without travails.
I'm on the creative edge of time,
Ya, that appears stagnant and mime
Yet it is nevertheless moving,
My grandest vision,
Coincidence happens without reason.
I have sensed a many
And urge all to see
All you have to do
Is take responsibility for your present You
And live a designer's life
The Happy one
The Sad one
The good humans..
It's all for you to choose,
And let yourself loose
In the cosmos canvas!
And hear yourself say, Alas.
I wish I had known it before.
Move on, leave the yore
It's not too late,
Start creating your fate (oxymoron)
Now, urgently now!
This moment, yes. Wow!